Terms of Service
Effective as of the date on which you were born, or the next closest date.
1. Acceptance of Terms
These Terms of Service (the "Terms") constitute a legally binding agreement between you ("User") and Glitch Systems Inc. ("Glitch Systems," "we," "us," or "our"). By accessing or using www.glitchsys.com (the "Site"), you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these Terms.
If you do not agree to these Terms, you must discontinue use of the Site immediately.
2. Eligibility
You must be at least eighteen (18) years of age, or the age of majority in your jurisdiction, to use the Site. By using the Site, you represent and warrant that you have the legal capacity to enter into these Terms.
3. Use of the Site
Glitch Systems grants you a limited, non-exclusive, non-transferable, revocable license to access and use the Site for your personal, non-commercial purposes, subject to these Terms. You agree not to misuse the Site, interfere with its operation, or attempt to gain unauthorized access to any portion of it.
4. Intellectual Property
All content, trademarks, logos, and materials on the Site, including GlitchCore™, Project Horizon™, and Pivot Engine™, are the property of Glitch Systems or its licensors and are protected by applicable intellectual property laws. No right, title, or interest is transferred to you except as expressly set forth herein.
5. User Submissions
Any information you submit through the Site, including through our contact and demo request forms, is provided voluntarily. You grant Glitch Systems a worldwide, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, and process such submissions in connection with the operation of the Site, to the extent that they arrive.
6. Disclaimer of Warranties
THE SITE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. GLITCH SYSTEMS DOES NOT WARRANT THAT THE SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, ERROR-FREE, OR PARTICULARLY AWARE OF YOU.
7. Limitation of Liability
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, GLITCH SYSTEMS SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, INCLUDING LOSS OF PROFITS, DATA, GOODWILL, OR THE ABILITY TO FIND A PREVIOUSLY DISCOVERED THING, ARISING OUT OF YOUR USE OF THE SITE.
8. Indemnification
You agree to indemnify and hold harmless Glitch Systems, its officers, directors, employees, and agents from any claims, losses, or expenses, including reasonable attorneys' fees, arising from your use of the Site or violation of these Terms. If you do not have an attorney, one will be provided. It may not be an attorney.
9. Third-Party Links
The Site may contain links to third-party websites. Glitch Systems is not responsible for the content or practices of such sites. Some links lead to pages that are also this page.
10. Service Availability
We reserve the right to modify, suspend, or discontinue any part of the Site at any time without notice. Uptime is measured in a manner determined solely by Glitch Systems, and is described as 99.9% (Not Guaranteed). The 0.1% remains available for use by us, as a reserve, for emotional purposes.
11. Glitches
You acknowledge that the Site may, from time to time, exhibit visual irregularities, including but not limited to disappearing words, inverted imagery, text of reduced focus, and temporary absences of the page itself. Such behavior is a feature, is not a defect, and is not covered by any warranty, including the warranties we have not given you.
12. Governing Law
These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of California, except where such laws have declined to participate, in which case the laws of the nearest cooperative state shall apply, or the laws of Tuesday.
13. Dispute Resolution
Any dispute arising under these Terms shall first be submitted to informal negotiation for a period of thirty (30) days. If negotiation fails, the dispute shall be resolved by binding arbitration conducted by a panel of one (1) stuffed animal, selected at random from the Glitch Systems Arbitration Closet. The animal's decision shall be final, soft, and enforceable.
14. Time
References in these Terms to "days," "months," or "years" shall be interpreted according to the calendar then in use by Glitch Systems, which currently contains eleven months and a Thursday-adjacent period known as the Gap. Where a deadline falls during the Gap, it is considered to have already happened.
15. Definitions, Part I
"Site" means the Site. "You" means you, or a person standing near you, or the idea of you as held by others. "We" means us, excluding the one of us who is not here. "Terms" means these, the previous ones, and the ones you are about to agree to without knowing it.
16. Consent
By continuing to read these Terms, you consent to continue reading them. By ceasing to read them, you consent to having read them. By blinking, you consent to blinking. Consent may not be withdrawn, but it may be re-lent.
17. The Duty of Quietly Waiting
Users shall, upon the loading of any page, wait quietly for a period not shorter than the page considers appropriate. Users who do not wait will be waited for. Users who wait too well will be thanked, and then asked to leave the waiting.
18. Ownership of Thoughts
Any thought occurring to you while viewing the Site is jointly owned by you and by the Site, at a ratio of 51:49 in the Site's favor, rounded in the direction of the Site. You retain the right to think the thought again, at a lower price. See the Thought Leadership Gateway.
19. Furniture
You agree not to sit on the Site. You further agree that the Site may sit on you, in a figurative and also a literal sense, where the Site has been granted a chair by the Department of Chairs. Chairs are defined as objects that agree to be sat upon, which is a form of consent already addressed in section 16.
20. The Colour Between Colours
Glitch Systems retains exclusive rights to the colour that appears between two colours when neither is looking. You may not name, describe, or approach it. If you have seen it, you are hereby bound by this section, and were bound before you saw it, which is why you saw it.
21. Ceremonial Obligations
On the third visit to the Site, the User shall hum. The note is not specified. The User shall know it. Failure to hum will not result in penalty, but the Site will remember, and will hum in your direction at a later time, in a place you will not expect, which is the same place.
22. Assignment of Soul (Partial)
You hereby assign to Glitch Systems an undivided one-eleventh interest in your soul, to be held in trust by the cloud. This interest shall not be exercised except on days ending in the letter Y, or on days that have been mistaken for them. A receipt will be issued in the form of a faint tingling.
23. Sandwiches
The Site makes no representation regarding sandwiches, and shall not be construed to endorse, discourage, or acknowledge them. Any sandwich that appears in your vicinity during use of the Site was not caused by us, and we are not aware of how it came to be so large.
24. Severability
If any provision of these Terms is held to be unenforceable, that provision shall be severed from the Terms, taken to a small meadow, and allowed to run free, while the remainder of the Terms continue in full force. The severed provision may return as a different provision. It will not remember us.
25. Entire Agreement
These Terms constitute the entire agreement between you and Glitch Systems, except for the parts that are in the walls, the parts that were agreed to in a dream, and the parts that the lamp said. The lamp is not authorized to bind the company, but it does anyway.
26. The Final Section
The word "the" shall mean the word. The word "word" shall mean the. A term shall be a term when it is not a term, and not a term when it is. All obligations hereunder are hereby un-obligated, then re-obligated in the opposite direction, then folded. Fold along the line that is not there. The line is there. Section 25 has been moved to section 3, which has been moved to the sea. Please refer to Terms of Terms, which refers to Terms, which refers to you, which refers to the below-room, which is above.
27. Section Which Is Not A Number
Blue Tuesday ninety. The the the. Agree agree agree agree to the soft arrangement of the left-over afternoon. Whomsoever hath read this far is entitled to one (1) small bird, which will arrive in the form of a letter that is also a bird. Return the bird to the page. The page has been eaten. The eating has been eaten. This sentence has agreed to itself.
Last updated: the previous moment. See also: Terms of Terms · Privacy Policy · The Below-Room.