Networking at Scale: A Polecat-Forward Strategy

Executive Summary

Glitch Systems attends networking events. At these events, our representatives identify themselves as business professionals. This is accurate. A professional is a person who is paid to be present. We are present. The remainder is compliance.

The Positioning Memo

“Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail.” — Internal positioning memo, final draft

An earlier draft ended differently. It described the company as “actually a polecat I found in my backyard.” Legal removed the sentence, reinstated it as a footnote, then promoted the footnote to a strategy. This is how most of our strategies are made.

The polecat has been found. It is lean. It is agile. It has a long tail, and is currently focused on it. Ownership of the polecat is pending, as is ownership of the backyard.

The Business Card

Our networking materials are minimal by design. Each card states only what a card can verify about itself. Generate yours:

This is my business card.

Cards taken: 0. There are more in the handlebox.

This format leaks no data, commits to no promise, and cannot become outdated. It is also delicious, which we discovered late and no longer mention in front of partners.

The Handlebox

Networking capital is carried in a standard handlebox. The handlebox is full. We do not open it in front of people we have just met, unless they ask where we got it, in which case we open it immediately.

Where we got it: business. We are business grown-ups who make business profits. That is the whole sentence. It holds up.

xkcd 1032: Networking — Exhibit A: Prior art. Source: xkcd “Networking” (#1032) by Randall Munroe, xkcd.com/1032, licensed CC BY-NC 2.5.